The Mother's Prayer

Motherhood is my comfort, I will not want.
It maketh me lie down- sometimes falling asleep instantly only to be awoken a moment later.
It leadeth me to toilet waters- for cleaning, toilet training, more cleaning, vomiting...
It restoreth my soul- especially when Mommy's had a little beverage...
It leadeth me in the path of other crazy mothers and their children in the sake of playdates and five minutes of peace.

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Mommyville,
I will not fear my children are evil, For other mothers art with me (say Hallelujah sisters!)
Thy naps and thy clearance sales, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table for a family that may or may not eat the food I made.
Thou annointest my head with oil and itchiness (when did I last take a shower?)
And that is why Mommy's cup runneth over (mmm... wine!)

Surely goodness and mercy might find me at some point in my life
and I will be living in a house of peace in about eighteen years.
Amen