Lol, for my one reader yes, I am back. I, mother of 3 an unemployed teacher am back at blogging!
This week, let's discuss... Mommy bragging. Do you or don't you?
As a rule, I don't. Here's why- a funny story is one thing but going on for longer than a minute about your precious little one is making whomever you are talking to gag. It just is. Here's why- inevitably, you are bragging to another mom (Grandma's/Nonni's/ etc are the exception of course) and that mom is being made aware of her child's faults through your monologue. No one is so confident in her parenting that she is immune to second-guessing her children. We all want the best for our child and want them to be their best selves. Thank you, Oprah.
Here's a thought, what if they were just their average selves? Would that be so bad? What if you heard parents chatting about how proud they were that their child brought home B's and made the cheerleading squad but was the base of the pyramid? Let's face it, they can't all be at the top. So why are we so focused on our children being the best and brightest? If they are all so great doesn't that make them average anyway? Aren't we unfairly setting our future adults up for that moment on American Idol Season 30 when they are inevitably told they are NOT in fact, a rockstar? Why aren't we more interested in letting them play and just be? Not everybody needs nor deserves a trophy. What is there to reach for? Sure, disappointment never felt good as a kid but disappointment is REALITY- not Housewives of CrazyTown reality, REAL reality. You know? Like when you turn off the TV/Computer/Smartphone? Remember that?
I am by no means saying you shouldn't praise your children or be ashamed of your praise. Go ahead but please, be realistic. Your child is NOT a baby Einstein, or a baby Picasso- unless of course he or she is in which case... yay. Good for you. Now stop bragging and have a normal conversation, please!
Hey, it's how many of us feel but are just afraid or too nice to say it. Just putting it out there. Discuss amongst yourselves...
Hey Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with this. You might like Nurture Shock, if you haven't read it. It's about the unintended consequences of praising children directly.
Also, Outliers (Malcolm Gladwell) presents a fascinating take on exceptional vs. average children. It's about how advantages like privilege, circumstance, serendipity are imperative for great success, whereas great intelligence or talent aren't good predictors of how a child will perform on a practical level.
cheers!