Those were the beautiful words my almost 3 year old preschool daughter spoke to me today... and for whatever reason they both made me mad and sad.
It made me mad because I could tell that my child had been coached by a well-intentioned adult and family member to say that to me when I seemed upset. She also reminded me that even when I was upset with her, I still loved her. These are reassurances I make her myself when I am rationally explaining why I AM upset.
It made me sad because as the universe was apparently backhanding me upside the head I got an email from another mom friend about parenting without yelling. Oh boy. Have you seen this lovely site?
Frankly, I am more of the "Moms who drink and swear" variety but so. be. it.
I say, Live and let live- or if you piss me off. Live. and let die.... yes, I am a Wings fan because I love Paul. Deal with it.
Anyway, the email from my sweet fellow mother asked the poignant and thorny question, "Would you want YOU for a mother?"
FUCK. Yes? On some days, I know that I am about two donuts shy of a total meltdown. If that doesn't make sense to you then you understand.
Just call me the Yogi Berra of mothers. That's kind of how my logic works.
Moving on... I have to wonder what kind of memories my girls will retain.
Will she remember that I always give up my food, comfort and time for her? Will she only recall my time away?
Will they only remember the curse words in traffic? Or will they fondly reminisce over the way I always said "sleep sweet" at goodnight?
Do I have to deconstruct my parenting as I am doing it?!?!?!
Right now, I am too busy trying to BE a parent and do a good job with my brain cells in tact.
Maybe "You aren't mad, Mommy" is the universe sending me a new mantra or she is practicing what she will say someday when she does something really really bad. Oh god...
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